Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the convienence store...or in my case...Academy Sports 'N' Outdoors...the greatest thing to come out of the 80's (if you don't count Scritti Politti)...is back!! All new characters, gimmicks, collectible stickers...and it's all been updated for the 21st century! Isn't that great!? Or at least...mildly interesting? No? Not really? Okay, fine...to be honest it was at the front register and therefore can be considered an "impulse buy" so THERE!!!
You know, part of what made these things neat in the 80's is that there was a hint of imagination involved...now they're what I believe is called "grasping at straws"
So basically what happened is Kim ate all the cookies BEFORE knocking on the door and then when the man opened the door she "tossed her cookies" on his porch? You'll never sell any cookies doing THAT! Can you fire a Girl Scout? Is that possible?
Maybe I'm being too critical of his parents, I don't know, but giving their child a can of beans and letting him play by himself in the ocean is just asking for trouble.
See, now the problem I have with this one is...judging from the cracked arm and skull I can tell he's tried this before. Although it IS impresive to create a bungee cord from your own mucous, it should never be used for actual bungee jumping. Ever.
This one is...I don't know...pretty much straight-away explained in the picture...now the kid isn't doing anything gross per se`...but the fact that she's being used as bait is pretty disturbing.
Now THIS is going back to old school! So nasty...and yet so inspired. Aww, even the bird is upchucking! How adorable! How could ya not right? The only problem I have is in the name...how do we know he has a peg leg? Ooh, a thinker for ya!
All aboard!!! HA HA HA!!! I don't know about you, but I think they captured his likeness perfectly! Didn't Ozzy bite the heads off bats? I guess they had him eating the bat that way so they could say he "bit the bat's butt"? I believe that is an example of alliteration!!
This guy is a freak! When they said childhood obesity was up, I had no idea it was THAT much! I see a piano, a school bus, a toilet, a fire hydrant, and a bicycle among other things trapped in Austen's F-L-A-B...truly awful visual we have here.
Logan, what can I say? The very idea of dumping into a toilet and measuring how much has been "downloaded" has appealed to all of us at one time I'm sure. Glad to see humor has been introduced to the 21st century.
Get it? Bailey button? Belly button? Just thought I'd clear that up for you. This picture was taken right before CPS (child protective services) showed up I bet.
I think the look on Mark's face sums up the amount of pain he's going through leaving a skid mark that size and length. Also, what kind of crummy water park only has one slide anyway?
See, now this I don't get. The only thing I can think of is that his water guns are filled with his own urine. Readers, any guesses?
I don't have to tell you how dangerous it is to let your child crawl into an occupied turtle shell while picking their nose. Do I? Unless...the turtle tried to eat him and is now trying to pass him through his system...a real headscratcher, ain't it?
Geez...that is just a foul thing to look at. By the look on her face she seems to know exactly why she was voted off the island. Apparently in Garbage Pail Land, no one's ever heard of a Kleenex!!
Yes, he is careless...and he also has the bad fortune to trip and fall right in that dog's puddle! I mean...what are the odds? This kid needs a trip to CareNow or something.
Good golly...how many Big Gulps did this kid drink!? He even looks a little scared to be trapped in a car full of his own urine. Here's a nickel's worth of free advice Russ: Close Your Mouth!
Do we even need to explore why this is so bad? Nah.
See, this one doesn't show any imagination at all! Just some kid eating crap? What kid doesn't? And there's no rhyme or reason to what he's eating! Eyeballs...snails...I think I see someone's false teeth in there...? I think this was the last one created...hopefully.
This one stumped me. Who's the actual Garbage Pail Kid, the baby or the bird!? Does that look like a stork to anyone? Didn't think so. They should put this one on the front of a "Jenny Craig" center...would do the trick for anyone!!
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