"Missed It By THAT...Much..."

Yes, it was on this day in 2005 that Don Adams, best known by the world as bumbling agent 86 Maxwell Smart, passed away, leaving behind a heck of a legacy in TV and movies. The first time I caught Get Smart I thought it was the funniest thing since sliced bread. Wait. It's supposed to be the greatest thing since sliced bread, not the funniest. It's the funniest thing since...Milton Berle? Yeah, that's better. Now granted, some of the ways he would get out of jams were beyond far fetched. There was one where he and 99 (the hot Barbara Feldon) were trapped with their heads in a guillotine and they were talking to each other. All of a sudden the blade drops and Max's head falls to the ground. Well, his body staggers around and his real head comes up out of his shirt, knocks the guys at KAOS out, and rescues 99. As it turns out, he had a standard-issue inflatable head that he had inserted into the guillotine ahead of time. Huh? How in the world did he talk while his real head was in his coat? Ah well. I guess that's part of the mindless fun that was CONTROL. Here are some great clips of Max and co.:






We got a family membership at ye olde YMCA a few weeks ago, complete with workout facilities and a pool. We've worked out...six times I think? At least I have. So far I've lost about 5 lbs. But the real workout has been in the weights they have there. Weights to work out every part of your form. I feel so much better after an hour there, and at first I was a little sore, but not so much as of late. Plus, they have this KidZone where Zach and Emmy can play while we're doing our thing. All for $55. Double plus, HealthMarkets will reimburse $25 a month if we go ten times a month. Just like it was meant to be.

They put our pictures up at work for all of us who had someone tell our supervisit that they were very pleased with the job we did for them. Here is the "Wall Of Kudos":


See if you can find me.

Got some funny pics of the kids in the bath last night. Emmy had reached a point where all she wanted to do was take showers but now she's starting to enjoy the baths more now that Zach needs one every night. Don't ya just hate smelly kids? I do. If I had my way I'd have them in the bath every hour. I guess that would be a little mean. Just a little ha ha.



Funny how kids never get tired of 1) making bubble hats and 2) making bubble hats for other people.

I hear that they are making a Transformers 2 as we speak...or type...whichever. You think I'm a little excited about this? Yeah I am! Sometimes when I'm driving I wish I could transform and sidestep all the traffic. If you had seen a 1997 Nissan Sentra transform it would probably transform into an old man with a heart murmur. That car sure has been good to me. Seven and 1/2 years I've had this thing and still the beat goes on. Thanks Grandma. We need to go see her again. Sometimes on Friday we go out to aunt Glenda's and play cards. Always have a real fun time. I hope my grandkids want to hang out with me at some point. I know this is years away, but if there's one thing you should know about me, it's that very aware of the future I am, to quote rapmaster Yoda.

"They Say It's Your Birthday..."

Well, not my birthday mind you...but Cari is now 32!! I think I outdid myself on what I got her too. No, I didn't get her a gift card to Target, like I usually do. Hey, who wouldn't want that right? I got her "Juno" on DVD (which we both get to enjoy) and...AND...a gift certificate to Daired's Spa, located conveniently off the highway here in Arlington, where she (and her friend) can go and get...something. Not sure what. The most expensive feature they have is laser hair removal for like $2,100. I got her $60. Good for a massage I think. Here are a few pics from her birthday dinner:


Emmy: "Almost done with the candles!"
Me: "Are you going to put one candle for each year Mommy has been alive?"
Emmy: "Well, I was going to, but it turns out that kind of heat would be a violation of the city fire code."
Me: (wondering how she got a copy of the city fire code)


Me: "So Cari, what do you think of your birthday card?"
Cari: "Well, you did it. You finally found a card that plays my favourite song!!"
Me: "I bet ya didn't think there was a card that played "It's Rainin' Men"!!
Cari: "This is the best birthday ever!!"


Zach: "Look Dad, Dylan and me have cookies!"
Me: "I see...any chance ol' Dad can get a cookie?"
Dylan: "These are the last ones!!"
Zach: "If you want you can have the crumbs that will eventually be around my mouth!"
Me: "I'll pass."



Buffy the cat: "I am pure evil! I will hunt you down in the dead of night and eat you in your sleep. Look into my eyes...you will see the depths of Hell!"
Me: "Really?"
Buffy: "Eh, not really. It's just the way the light is shining on me. In actuality I couldn't run more then three or four feet without collapsing in a wheezing pile."

Did I mention that I dropped by her office Monday morning (rather...unexpectedly) and gave her a dozen roses fresh from Kroger's floral section. Shocked the heck out of her! But she was very appreciative of my noble efforts.

And Mom's birthday is next Monday! Numero 54!! Wow. She's been the best mom anyone could ask for, at least to me. She was always supportive of whatever I did and never tried to make my feel like less of a person for it. We're having her over Sunday for an intimate get-together, just the five of us lol. And, she's watching the kids Saturday night so Cari and I can go out and celebrate with some of our friends. I still have to get her a present. Ideas...ideas...

Zach is about to turn three and man, not a moment too soon. The "terrible twos" is the understatement of the year. Let me tell you what a typical day is for him and me:

Sometime between 2 and 4am: Zach cries loud enough for everyone to hear him and then runs into our room and crawls into our bed.

4:30am: I get up and take him back to his bed because he won't stop squirming and I can't go back to sleep.

7am: He gets back up and runs into our room and crawls into the bed (again) but by this time I'm already up.

8:30am: After dropping Emmy off at school I take him to the babysitter and once he goes inside he comes back out screaming for me to stay there with him. He's been going there for over a year.

8:30pm: Giving him a bath. He's discovered something that I guess must be a boy thing: peeing in the bath. He thinks it is just the funniest thing since Milton Berle. Last night he managed to hit Emmy square in the face and ya better believe that got him a spanking from his mom AND me. He wasn't laughing so much then.

9pm: Putting him to bed. Every night is an ordeal because he thinks it is okay to get back up and see what exciting things are going on with us, which is usually one of us on the computer and one of us watching TV. So we put him back to bed...and back...and back...for about an hour. Spankings just do not work for this kid. He will get back up knowing that is what's coming.

This has been pretty much every weekday since he turned two. Part of me really wants to believe he's starting to break some of his patterns and become the really great kid I know he can be. At times he is so sweet and he will share and entertain and really make me look great. I just wish those times were more often then not. I have faith. Faith in him being as smart as he has displayed. He is starting to give really complete and thoughtful sentences now and it just blows me away how intelligent he is. But intelligence doesn't alwyas translate to making good choices, does it? People always told me I was smart. But it wasn't until I got the job at the mall that I finally started to accept it. I remember one day being up there in the security office and it just kind of came to me: I can be better then $9 an hour. I can go farther with a much better company who will reward me for my hard work. It took four years, but I feel like I have arrived. Congratulations to me lol.

Finished my seventh month here at HealthMarkets. That moves me past Domino's (6 months), and next up is Western Merchandisers (9 months) and McGraw Hill (11 months). Geez I've had a lot of jobs eh? I guess the only one that counts is the one you're at now. Hey, I like that line. Think I'll trademark it.

"Tex The Bear"

I got him back in 2007 I think...could have been sooner. All he had for the first year of his life was a Texas Rangers t-shirt and some sweatpants. But that all changed a few months ago when we went for Emmy's Girl Scout outing to Build-A-Bear. With Dark Knight coming to theaters in a few months...or weeks...whichever...I found some Batman pajamas on display that I knew Tex would love. So I got them...and just a few months later I finally put them on him:


One swingin' koala eh? Yes, I know I'm a 33-year old man with a stuffed bear with Batman pajamas on it. My choice eh?

Here is the photo collage I made while the family was on vacation:


Not bad eh? I'm afraid I'm falling into that group of people known as: the scrapbooker. Actually I've been looking into making that my 2nd hobby. Hopefully this one won't cost too much $$$. I went into a Joann's Craft Store for the first time and saw a lot of things I'd like to start getting into. Geez...I think I'm turning into my grandma. Anyhoo...I liked that one so much (and so did Emmy) that I decided to make one just for her! She was excited about helping me out but most if it involves:

1) picking just the right pictures
2) cutting them just right so they overlap the boundary enought but not too much
3) taping them just right to the picture is centered perfectly

If you think this is too much for a 7-year old, you are correct sir. She picked out a few pics and cut a few of them, but I did most of the work. Anyhoo...here's what we put together:


After I put this together I realized "Hey...there's no pictures of me in this thing!" But there is one great one of us that I had printed and was going to bring up to the office but Emmy wanted to put it in a frame in her room:


I can always print another one, right?

Emmy has finished her second week of second grade today. So far, so good! She seems to respond to Ms. Kohutek very well and actually looks forward (a little) to going to school each day. She gets dressed, gets her breakfast, packs her lunch if we have Lunchables, brushes her hair and her teeth and makes sure her folder is signed (by me or Cari) all without having to be asked (usually). I couldn't be prouder of her for showing that kind of initiative and ambition. I often wonder how much of that is credited to us and how much is due to her part. I'm more then willing to give 99% of the credit to her. Maybe that's what I'm supposed to do. No one was (some say still is) lazier then me. I did not join any afterschool clubs, never bothered to cultivate longterm friendships, always did the minimum at any job I had...there was just no motivation. I'd probably still be delivering pizzas if Emmy hadn't come along. But I did know that working nights while my child was growing up was not in the playbook. Ultimately, my family motivated me to find something more career-oriented for a job. I enjoyed delivering, but I hated telling people what I did for a job. Hated it. Wasn't ashamed of what I did, but the fewer people who knew, the better. My goal then was to get a nice 9-5 job with no weekends and no holidays. Well, it took like seven years, but it finally happened. I did not want to retire with Pharma(don't)care because the benefits were abysmal. But here things are pretty decent. My dad has worked for the same place since 1992. Now he's vice-president. Not sure what's changed since he still works so much overtime. But he has kind of been an example of how I wanted to conduct myself when I found a good place. It was kind of hard for him when we came back from Canada. He had to re-learn his architect skills all over kind of as everyone was using AutoCad. But he did, and he worked some crummy jobs along the way. He drove the school bus...for my high school...my senior year. Pay wasn't anything special but the kids just loved him. One of the kids was a sophomore when I was a senior. Her name was Melanie. Five years later we were a couple. Who knew? My dad always thought we were going to wind up together, which we almost did. But it was not meant to be. She was moving two hours away with her mom and asked me what I wanted to do. She actually sprung this on me after I proposed to her. I knew my life was perfect right here and did not want to disrupt that. And with that, she left in May of 1999. Wow, has it really been nine years? So now I have my life in Arlington with my family and all of my relatives and I could not ask for more.

"Labour Day 2008!"

...and what a three-day weekend it was! Water parks, cookouts and family are always critical to this holiday. We had our 2nd annual Labour Day cookout at my grandparent's house and as usual, the cameras were rolling:


Me: "So...Dean...*cough*...what gastronomical wonders are you whipping up here today?"
Dean: "Well, it's an interesting story...*cough*..."
Me: "Um...are the burgers supposed to be smoking this much *wheeze*...?"
Dean: "Not really...*cough*...this is the last time I buy hamburger meat out of the trunk of some guy's car."
Me: "Yeah...maybe I'll just have a salad...*hack*..."


Zach: "This can's been empty for about an hour. I'd sure love another one. But, what are ya gonna do?"


Zach: "So you see Dad, with some slight-of-hand and a dim-witted audience, I made that can of root beer disappear right before your eyes!"
Me: "Wow, that's great son! I had no idea you could do magic that well!"
Zach: "Oh, think nothing of it."

(15 minutes later)

Me: "Did he just call me dimwitted? Nah..."


Dean: "Help! In my quest to capture the 'perfect picture', I've wedged myself in this slide! Becky, help me!"
Becky: "Gee, I'd like to Dean, but I'm still waiting for you to take my picture. What do you want me to do, unpose and pull you out?"
Dean: "YES!"
Becky: "Mmm, not gonna happen. I think we have some rope though."


Emily: "Okay Canyon, here's how you play the staring game. I look at you and you look at...hey, look at me, not at the window!"
Canyon: "Hey, I'm one and I enjoy looking out the window. Now if you don't mind..."
Emily: "Bet ya $10 I can beat ya..."
Canyon: "You're on!"

We also went to Hawaiian Falls twice before they closed their doors for 2008. I think we shall make this an annual tradition since it's perfect for kids as well as us. But man, you will bake out there if you don't have any shoes on. The ground gets so hot and the kids are screaming in agony...hopefully they will address this issue next year.

Cari's birthday is coming up!! The big 32! Everytime I get an idea for a gift I end up forgetting it. Am going to have to be a little clever to figure out what she is looking for.

Bought a GIJoe figure a while back. Barbecue. He was one of my favourites because he had a hose and a neat backpack. Here he is:


They made these re-releases so much smaller then the originals. But, it's not like I'm opening it up, right? Now about a year ago, I bought this guy:


What gives? Has the mighty Joe expanded their workforce to include TWO firemen? And how come no firewomen? Are they not capable of doing a man's job? These questions must be answered.

Emmy got her first MP3 player yesterday. Now she can take her fave tunes with her when we're on the road. Thing is, it's a heck of a lot nicer then mine! Mine is white and we all know that anything that is born white never stays white. So now mine is an off-white...but I didn't get it for a status symbol. Okay, I did. Are you happy now?

I guess we'll all see each other at Christmas...or unless Dad has a birthday party for himself, and we all know he will. One great weekend.