"Can't Touch This!"

Well, if you ask nicely, I bet you could.

Huh?


Talking about my newest acquisition, the iPod Touch!! 16GB of music, movies, pics and throw in a full Web Browser to boot (as long as it is in a Wi-Fi environment) and you have a pocket-sized entertainment center. We had a raffle at work and for a mere $2 I bought a total of ONE ticket which proved to just be enough to win! Cari has already given me the opportunity to trade MP3 players with her so she can have mine and I can have hers. Hmm, should I take her up on it? Something tells me she won't let up until I do. I must be strong, I keep telling myself.

Had a pretty nice Memorial Day!! I took Emmy to Campbell this year as usual, but this year, I made the decision to invite Zach along as well. I had been a little worried he would be out of control (even more so then usual) but to my surprise he was very well-behaved. Now I know he can come along every year. It was raining so we had to have the service in the high school cafeteria down the road. And yes, there was Wi-Fi in the school so me and my cousin Drew surfed while the people spoke. No matter what I get he always manages to have it first. I need to learn his secret.

The Friday before, we had a cook-out at work which was a lot of fun. Since I'm a member of the Spirit Team here, i was involved with all of the planning which was a lot! Never knew how much we needed to put one of these things on. We even had drawings for prizes. I didn't win any of them, but I guess when you win something a little nicer, it's okay. Here's a pic:


I have no idea what they were doing. "Spirit fingers", they say. "Flipping off Mike", I say.

Things have been going pretty good, I must say. In the past, it seemed like once I got one monkey off my back (i.e. taking care of a speeding ticket, getting a job, etc...), another would take its place soon after. SIGH!! Too back it took 30+ years to realize what a lot of people already figured out: it's all up to me. I decide my course and path and no one else. Sure, there will always be obstacles but it is nothing I can't handle. I try not to worry about things too much. Cari thinks I should lol. Who knows. But I like being in a position of being at the helm of this boat called life and not in the coal room shoveling coal.

"M-M-M-Mad Movies!!"

What movies?

Well, I'm glad you asked.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (Toronto, Canada in the 1980's), our family discovered a hidden treasure in the form of a comedy troupe known as the L.A. Connection. What they did was take old B and C-movies from years and years ago and remove all of the dialogue and add their own to create an entirely new movie. Here's "Sherlock Holmes Pt One":



Isn't that insane? I didn't find out until later that they would do it all in an improvisational style so none of it was rehearsed. I would think it would be hard enough to do without going over it first. Here's part two:



I found a website that sells all of these for like hundreds of dollars. Mmm, think I'll go to YouTube and watch them for free thank you very much. I remember getting together on Saturday nights at my uncle's house and getting pizza from "Pizza Pizza". Yes, that was their name. They were the predecessor to Little Caesar's I think. Anyways, we'd all watch these ridiculous movie clips and just laugh a lot. It's a shame that we never truly understand how great it is to be a kid until we're adults. There's certain parts of my life I wouldn't mind going through again, just to reminisce about things I've forgotten that will never be remembered again. But, I can't. But it's cool. Memories happen every day. It just takes a little effort to know when.

"Stories I Tell..."

Every picture tells a story, and every story can be fictitious at any time. One day along one of my lunch drives around the neighborhoods that surround work, I decided to bring my camera and see if anything interesting was out there. As it turns out, there isn't as much fast-paced action as I would have liked. Probably for the best. But I did find a few things that looked weird/neat/shocking. So I have concocted a mini-back story for each one. Enjoy.


"Yard Of The Month? Why, just last month the grass was brown and dead beyond repair. The only solution was to buy grass seed and completely re-plant the lawn. And now, all of a sudden, the grass was greener and thicker then it had ever been. I brought my magnifying glass one day and examined the yard much closer, only to discover...it was not grass at all, but...money...lots of it. The homeowners had shredded thousands of dollars and created an artificial lawn out of it. Why had they done this? What was so threatening about this cash that they had to hide it...?"


"The townspeople had built this mill by hand to utilize the underground river which ran beneath the land. What was unusual was that when you looked down the hole to see the water you couldn't see anything but darkness. The well hid a secret...the river was actually located in the center of the Earth and the water contained antioxidants which prevented aging. This is why we never saw any senior citizens walking around...how old were these people...?"



"People had always wondered what the chimney of this old house was made of. Some suggested Raisinettes, others had said it was sea urchins, but I wasn't buying any of it. When I finally got a sample back to the lab, I was astonished to learn that the chimney was made of...brains. But this was not a brain of this world. A closer examination found that whoever the brain belonged to, it didn't need the rest of its body to survive. It only needed to be surrounded by others of its kind. If this was the outside of the house, what on Earth was inside...?"


"My new neighbor hadn't owned the house two weeks and already he had painted it a hideous combination of colours. It looked like some kind of superhero's house. I asked him what his name was and he said 'Rogers...Steve Rogers'. Why did that name sound familiar to me? I ran home and Googled his name and what I discovered absolutely floored me. Steve Rogers was the alias of...Captain America! Could it be? Was it the same person...?"


"When the King had stepped down off the throne, he decided to move away and had a house built just for him. He even added a royal tower in front. Just for show, he said, but I immediately grew suspicious when he wouldn't give me a tour. I managed to sneak in around 2:00 AM one night, jiggled the lock, opened the door and found...his daughter, the princess, held captive against her will. She begged me to leave or else I'd be held captive too, but I had other ideas...heroic ideas. I untied her and we left and never looked back. After I had gotten her to safety, I asked her why her own dad had held her prisoner. She explained that he was searching the land for a suitable husband to be the prince. I looked in her eyes and said, "The search is over." And we lived happliy ever after.

Hope you like happy endings. There hasn't been many lately if you've read a newspaper recently. Not to brag, but it is posts like this one that really awaken me creatively. I'm sure there will be many more to come.

"Communion Time...Is Here..."

Yes, after much ado and planning, Emily has officially had her first Communion! I think it means she is a full-fledged member of the church now. What really worked out was she didn't get to have the ceremonial wine associated with Communion because of the swine flu that's going around. She had tasted it before as a pre-cursor warm-up to the big day. I had told her it tasted like bitter salt before she ever tried it and sure enough, that was her reaction as well. Here is a pic of Emmy in her lovely white dress:


A lot of Cari's family flew/drove/sailed in to catch this event too. Was nice to see Uncle Paul again. Here is a pic that I had them pose for specifically:


At some point, the two of them began calling each other "Mr. Ketchup" and "Mrs.
Mustard". Can you see the props I added? I bet ya can. I also made a video of Zach and Paul playing harmonica and guitar, respectively. Check out the "Zach Clark Band":



What's funny is now Emmy wants to go to church now that she feels like she's an actual part of the whole picture now. I grew up in a house where going to church wasn't really up to us. We went. Week after week, we went. While I hold no ill will towards the person or persons who made us go, I wonder how I wold have turned out if I had hardly or never went at all. I would probably think something was missing and be like those people who go on life-affirming missions and vacations trying to "find themselves". I'm probably not as religious as most people, but I have a plan for myself and my family and it's good to know where I'm going when I'm no longer here. Our lives are so temporary, it's hard to accept any permanence. Now I'm not done living by any means, but in my mind I imagine myself at 60, 70, 80 and it feels like it's right around the corner. I feel the same as I did when I was 15 though. Insecure sometimes, not really feeling like an "adult". But I guess I am. I sat with my grandfather at Mac's and he really didn't say much. I guess when you're almost 87 doing anything becomes a bit of a struggle. Am I going to be like that when I'm that old? My mind is always racing and thinking of different things and never really settling into a routine, so part of me thinks no. Of course, things change, and people change, even if we don't want to think about it.