"Second Grade...Has...Begun!"

...and after a whole week back, I would have to say it has been a roaring success. See, first grade wasn't very enjoyable for Emily for a range of reasons. But second grade seems to be a new bag of tricks for her. I met her teacher briefly on the first day on Monday and she seemed as happy as anyone could be after getting the whole summer off. Here are a few pix:





Me: "Okay guys, if we all pretend that I'm blind, I can get a great parking spot!"
Emmy: "I think that's illegal Dad."
Zach: "Just remember what Dad always says...it's only illegal if you get caught."
Me: "Obi Wan has taught you well."

My 2nd grade teacher was Ms. Goss. Beastly presence of a woman. While I don't remember anything specific about that year, I do remember one thing that happened. Shocking, right? Anyhoo...I was 15 and working at Target. I was a "cart attendant", and the title describes exactly what you would think a cart attendant does. So one afternoon I'm rounding them up and a larger woman flags me down and asks how I am, etc. and I'm trying to figure out who she is! I was cordial and everything but I did not realize it was her until years later. I can tell you every teacher I've ever had up until probably jr high and high school. Then, I had so many it would be a lot. But each one always seemed to mean something to me. I guess we take something from everyone we get to know and hopefully that makes us better people.

"Just A Penguin..."

...or was he more? My answer has always been: yes he was! Opus the Penguin first came into pop culture in 1983 (give or take) and has managed to hang around for almost an eternity. He was prominently featured in the "Bloom County" comic strip and is now in his own strip (which the Star-Telegram does not feature argh!). Suprisingly, YouTube had a clip of him, so here it is:



Good stuff eh? Well, when I was about 11 or 12 my dad had two of the books published by the author Berke Breathed and for some reason I thought they were hilarious. Now this was kind of adult humour. Not the raunchy kind, but the kind where if you didn't know who they were talking about you were in the dark. But not me. I saw the forest for the trees and laughed away. Christmas 1986 I got an Opus of my very own:



He used to have a Christmas hat (just like in the clip) but being a curious kid I just had to see what was underneath, and if you think I was more then a little disappointed, you are correct sir. But I have hung onto him for more then 20 years, so you can probably guess he means a lot to me.

So anyways...I took Dad's books with me one day for whatever reason and actually left them where I was! I didn't realize for like a week and by that time there was no use in trying to reclaim them. But I never forgot about them and swore I would get them back.

Fast forward to August 8, 2008 (08-08-08 for you math majors). I get off early from work and on the way to my mom's house, I stop by Half-Price Books just to 'look around'. I make my way to the humour section and there they are...the books I had lost years and years ago. Not the original ones, mind you, but the exact same ones! And better yet, they're cheap as heck. So I get them and when I started reading them it was like being a kid again.



There's too many story lines to get into specifics, but they have entertained me for the last three weeks in my own...personal...office. What's funny now is, Dad claims that they were Mom's and Mom claims they are Dad's! Makes me wonder how they got into our house exactly. Something a bit...thought provoking for yours truly yes? Maybe I should head to the office to figure this one out...

"The Mirrors...Are Haunting..."

...and man does this look good!! The commercials give me the heebie jeebies, so imagine what the movie can do. Here's a trailer:



Apparently...these mirrors don't stop reflecting when the people looking in them leave. Isn't that creepy? I always wondered if the person looking back at me would ever do anything different if I looked away. I thought about videotaping myself in the mirror looking away and seeing if anything changed but I doubt it would. Then I'd be the nut in the bathroom with a videocamera.

Congratulations to Michael Phelps on winning eight gold medals! Eight...goodness...I'd be happy with one...seriously...I wouldn't even sell it if I won it. Not that I sell everything that is valuable to me. Just see my garage right? But man, what an effort. Here's the highlight:



But what is most impressive is that diet. Have ya heard about this? I'm sure you heard someone talking about it. Basically it's 500 calories an hour for every hour of the day. 12,000 for you D+ math majors. Now I'm not about to try to even attempt that. I don't even know what my high is for something like that. But if I ever thought it was impressive I will be thinking again. Phelps ate fried egg sandwiches, pasta, a pizza, pancakes, waffles, energy drinks, and topped it all off with an omelette and ham and cheese sandwiches. Everyday during the Olympics he consumed this. And yet, for some reason, he only has like four percent body fat. You think him swimming had something to do with that?

Emmy and Zach are spending the night with my mom tomorrow night, and Cari and I are going to Cheesecake Factory and then to a movie! She says she is going to make me go to a chick flick as punishment for me seeing Dark Knight without her. I recommended "House Bunny" because hey, a movie about a Playboy bunny can't be all bad right? The truth is, we haven't had a night to outselves in quite a while, and the kids miss their grandma a lot. So I would imagine everyone wins from this.

Emmy starts 2nd grade next Monday!! She got kind of tired of going to her daycare this summer but she doesn't really want to go back to school either. So I ask her what she wants to do. She says "I want to stay home by myself." What's scary is, i would probably trust her to hold down the fort if we were somehow incapacitated. And no, I don't mean we lost our heads. I don't worry a whole lot about her because she seems to know what is important in life and knows how to have fun without causing property damage. Zach...I worry about him a little more. If he doesn't get his way he turns on the scream and makes sure everyone can hear it. I don't remember Emmy doing that but maybe I have a selective memory. I do remember me and her going to Target one day. She picked up a book up and when she was done looking at it she dropped it on the floor. I asked her to pick it up and she just started walking away. I asked her again to no avail. So, to borrow a page from Dr Phil, I went over to her, took her hand, and we left. And we did not do anything else that day. And would ya believe, it never happened again. Are girls easier to raise then boys? The answer's gotta be yes. I know they're smarter then us, I get that. Zach seems to revel in pissing us off. He really does. And that's a boy thing. I did the same thing when I was his age. But I was a little more concerned with what might happen if I crossed the line. I know he's right around the corner to really exploring his intelligence. Right now he acts like he's one move ahead of us. But nary concern: being a former boy myself (some might say I still am), I'm aware of what he's thinking and what he thinks he can get away with. But he will know his limits. This...I vow. Now someone make me a fried egg sandwich.

"Tony Did What!?"

He got married, that's what! It only took 30 years but I think he found a keeper. Now granted, I've only met Jennifer once, but she seems alright. It was at the 2007 July 4th pool party, and now we can never have that again, because my aunt Susie went and sold their house! How can they be so selfish and inconsiderate!? Don't they care what I want? Sometimes I get the feeling people could care less what is important to me. Maybe I'm just being stupid. Here's some good pix:


Pastor Tom: "Okay you guys, let's have a good game out there today...and not just for today, but for a lifetime! Which in Hollywood is what, five, six years?"
Tony: "Um, Uncle Tom, can we stay a little more positive here?"
Jennifer: "Marriage is not a game!"


Jennifer: "First one to chug five glasses wins!"
Tony: "YOU'RE ON!!!"

Hey, how come I wasn't in the wedding party? I thought I was a friend...hmm...guess not as close as I thought. Truth is, Tony and I used to hang out a lot when I was younger...say, 19 or so...he'd come over a lot or I'd go to his house. Little Ceasar's had their $5 pizzas and we'd get two and go to CD Warehouse...and then, like all people at some point, we grew apart. Actually, I'm not as close to my mom's side of the family as I used to be. I always got the feeling they would talk about me, like I got on their nerves or something. Probably just me being silly.

After the wedding I went and replaced the battery in my car. How do you know your battery needs to be changed? Well, sure, there are the clear signs, like it won't take a jump or hold a charge. But there was also this powdery blue residue all over the terminals and connectors that eventually ate away at the connectors, so I had to buy some of those too. At least I learned a little something about how to take care of a battery a little better.

That night we dropped the kids off with Branda and Jerramy and went to: the Ranger Game!! Here are some decent shots:


These are the world-famous dots running the last lap of their race. The first two are on the JumboTron but they come out for the last lap. This has always been a fan favourite.


The Kiss-Cam!! Every couple featured is always the same. The husband is off looking at something else and the wife or girlfriend has to alert them to kiss so they'll be on the screen. A wife's work is never done it seems. They would have featured me and Cari except the cameraman passed out from lack of oxygen from being so high up. (The seats were extremely high up but they were through Cari's work for $10 each, so it's hard to be upset.)


They won! They actually won 3-0! They're like 1-9 in their last 10 games but we were at the 1! Here they are lining up and celebrating mediocrity at its' finest.


Fireworks! It was a heck of a show! What's even cooler is they shut down all the lights so as to create a mood as to say "Hey...it's dark...how about that..."


Here we are shooting down a 747 that mistakenly crossed Texas Ranger airspace during the fireworks show. What people don't know is that fireworks are also deadly weapons of mass destruction. Hey, maybe we need those in Iraq. But that airplane had no business flying overhead. We did the right thing...right?

I won Employee Of The Month again for July! Which means another $20 WalMart gift card! And a balloon...oooh. And I just got my nameplate for my cubicle so now people know my name and what year I was hired. Sure, it says 2008 now...actually it will say that always right? But in six years it will be a little more impressive. Why six years? 'Cuz then I will be fully vested in my 401K contributions! What does that mean? I have no idea. I think it means I can withdraw from it with no penalties. Nothing wrong with that.

I really enjoy weddings. And no, not just for the free food. Although that is a plus. Just seeing two people know deep down that they really can't do any better then the one they're with is pretty impressive.

"Reunited...And It Feels So Good..."

Yes, the traveling pack known as the rest of my family finally returned to me last Friday! They went to Albuquerque for a week while I was all alone here. I managed to clean up some of the house and finish a multi-picture frame we have had for a year or so but never found time to complete. I was so impressed with the one I made that Emmy wanted me to make her one, so I printed some pics @ Target and made one for her too! She helped me pick out some pictures and cut them to measurements. I'll find a time to show them to you later. Here's some interesting pics they took last week:


Okay, this is...Emmy in a Hannah Montana wig with accompanying headset and microphone. Speaks volumes about New Mexico doesn't it?


This is a nice landscape shot, I just don't know where.


Aww...

So anyway, they come home Friday night, and Saturday Cari has to go to a Girl Scout thing, so I took Zach and Emmy to our favourite Ft Worth museum. Hey, it was free and air-conditioned ha ha:


Zach: "Hey Dad, how long is 150 years anyway?"
Emmy: "Yeah, was it before you were born?"
Me: "Hey now...I'm not so old...and certainly not 150 years! Now where's my hard candy?"


Zach: "Hey Dad, who are these guys behind us?"
Me: "Um...well...I could probably just make up some names and you'd never know if I was right...shuold I do that?"
Emmy: "No! You go to the library and research this right now!"
Me: "Okay, but now we can't go get ice cream..."
Zach: "Okay, ixnay on the esearch-ray."

The hardest part about being alone for a week was at night when it was time to go to bed and there was no one to say good night to, or say good night to me. Kinda felt like Forrest Gump when it would get real quiet at night. Guess I need the hustle and bustle more then I ever thought possible.

"Seven? Already? No Way!"

Sure, we all want our kids to grow up, get jobs and move out ASAP, right? Hmm...maybe that's a bit harsh. But it seems like they either move out too soon or they hang around and wear out their welcome. I think about when Zach and Emmy are in their 20's and how they will handle real life and all its' frustrations and obstacles. Emmy has wanted to be a teacher ever since she was in pre-k and that has not changed to this day. It started out as wanting to be in charge of a bunch of kids and has progressed to "Well, we all get the summer off". She even asked me why I can't be a teacher so I could watch her instead of her going to Girls Inc, even though she has a good time there. They get to go swimming, movies, park, Putt Putt, etc...we should all be so lucky. But I have encouraged her to stick with wanting to be one when she grows up. Where I work is right outside of Birdville ISD which happens to pay their teachers the most, with an average salary of over $45,000 a year. Anyone think that's too little? Didn't think so. Anyways...here are some pix of how we celebrated:


Zach: "You're going to strap me in where?"
Me: "I wish you hadn't asked that chief...think warm thoughts..."


Emmy: "AAIGH! Help!! How high am I anyway??"
Me: "Um...about three feet...wanna go higher?"


Emmy: "Hey man, no pictures while I'm eating! You know our family rule!"
Me: "No pictures while you're eating?"
Emmy: "That's the one."


I don't even wanna start with this one...were they sold out of Transformer cupcake cakes? Ah, who am I kidding, of course they were. But there's always plenty of Hannah Montana cupcake cakes at Kroger.


Zach: "Seriously? There's $20 in this balloon? How do I get it out?"
Me: "Easy! Just sit on it until it bites you in the butt! That's worth it isn't it?"
Zach: "Um...gimme a sec on that."

Cari and the kiddos have left for a weeklong vacation to Albequerque this morning. To be honest I'm kind of lonely right now. I did a LOT today. Did all the laundry, organized the kids' rooms and shampooed the carpet. Oh yeah, also mopped all the floors and vacuumed all the rooms too. I am wiped. Cari was supposed to call tonight but here it is, almost midnight and nothing. I have been up since 4am and am more then just a little delirious as I type this. So I will conclude by saying I don't think my kids could ever wear out their welcome. A friend of mine lives with his parents and his wife and kid all under the same roof. Of course their house is like a msnsion, so...couldn't pull that off in this house. Tomorrow we're having a family gathering at my aunt Becky's house for Grandpa's 86th birthday...also I think someone is coming home from the army. I got him THE funniest card. One of those sound effect cards when you open it. On the front is a dog and the caption:I thought this dog to bark once for each year old you are! Then you open it and it doesn't stop barking and it says: This could take a while! Ha ha ha ha. I know he will love it. Lately he doesn't say much when we get together. I guess at that age you prefer to just sit back and enjoy the conversation. I can already sense that is how I will be.