Surgery Poster Boy...?

Griffey: "Cry cry...I have a boo boo again"
Team: "Aw, geez..."
Fans: "Aw, geez..."

Superstar player: $112 million.
Number of games played: 462.
Home runs: 103.
Seattle's relief: priceless.

Um...who are these guys anyway?

Not really sure what his name is...but man that's a huge bow! Hey pal, I guess no one ever told you, but bows and arrows won't get it done these days...you'll need what the gangs call a "Mack-10 Streetsweeper".


Do ya fear me? Hmm? Judging by my bright red costume it doesn't look like ya do...(sigh)


This guy...sure, he looks imposing...but man, I would get hot in that get-up he has there...how could ya not?


Mysterio...you kook you...your ability to create worlds out of little cubes is matched only by your ability to walk around in THAT.


I AM THE PHOENIX!! I can fly into outer space and protect entire worlds with my magical force field!! Sure, I had to say goodbye to my boyfriend...Scott...ol' LaserEyes and I had some good times...(sigh)



Was it Mr. Doom? Dr. Doom? (shrug) I dunno...mean lookin' guy though...probably was disfigured at some point so he needed a mask...but why stop there? He didn't.


Not sure what is M.O. is...I used to know all the names of these guys and now...bupkes...maybe the streamers do something...they can't be just for show...read GQ guys.


This guy...may have a bit of a problem...now if he can really fly then he may just want to keep wearing it...does his family know?

Mummy Dearest

Karloff was THE man...scary on the screen and a legend off of it.

Well Lookie What We Have Here

Okay, we all know what he's done. But if you had a chance to make millions of dollars simply by betraying those around you...seriously...wouldn't ya at least think about it? I would at least think about it.

Return of the Baseball Card

Now that hockey officially sucks, I think the time has come for me to peruse my thousands and thousands of baseball cards and begin a posting I am proud to call...
BASEBALL CARD OF THE WEEK
Okay, enough shouting. Each card will either A) be of some value to someone or B) have an interesting story/anecdote of the person on it. Now all I have to do is find some good ones! Stay tuned!

Postcards From The Edge

The only way you could get these was by becoming an official member of the Jedi Fan Club...lucky me yes?

How 'Bout Them Patriots!!

I knew it...I just knew it...when you have a hot hand you don't backslide. Although...I should be a little upset. They took away all the lustre from what my Cowboys accomplished years ago in the early 90's. But I guess none of that matters now. What matters to everyone is that the Patriots are in prime position to do what no one has done. Ever. And that's three-peat. Cowboys SHOULD HAVE done it but they couldn't get past the 49ers. Heck, no one did in that fateful 1994 season. I still remember that NFC title game. It had rained for hours the day before. The field was a sopping, soggy mess...hardly a regulation field. Didn't seem to bother the 49ers though. They jumped out to a quick 21-0 lead before the 1st quarter even ended! After the game "coach" Barry Switzer took full responsibility for his team getting shelled by blaming...the field. The field! Anyways...congrats Pats on a job well done!! You won me a free dinner from my best friend Jerramy...Jordan!!

The Three Stooges

How can ya not love these guys? When a prestigious station like AMC airs hours of Stooges classics on important holidays you know you've found three true heroes.

McLaren Side View

Me: "Hey baby...wanna come for a ride in my car?"

Them: "Well...you're weird looking...and not very popular...but you have a cool car...so okay!"



Yes, I know it's out of focus! Look at who took the picture! Maybe I will get some better ones on here...or...maybe I won't...but I do think this is the finest thing Italy ever created...unless you count Sophia Loren.



Sweet...just sweet...



I say...if it's good enough for James Bond...it's good enough for me!



Me: "Hey baby...wanna go for a ride?"
Them: "I remember you...you had that McLaren a while back...now you have a BMW? You're still weird-looking...but you seem to be more popular now...I really don't like you...but you have a cool car...so okay!"



I don't know of too many cars where you just stop and look until they drive out of your field of vision. Maybe a Ferrari or Lamborghini. Actually, that's a given. However, vipers are a little more common on the road. When you see a black or red one you just have to pay attention. 500 horsepower commands your attention.


(sung to the tune of "Baby You Can Drive My Car")

Told my girl what I wanted her to do
She said "I ain't washin' your car for you"
When I showed her the Franklin all green
She got out her rags and started to clean

Baby you can wash my car
So that I can be a star
Baby you can wash my car
And then I'll love you

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP YEAH!!



I went to Maryland in Dec 1999 for a vacation and THIS was the only souvenir I brought back. It's a stupid bottled water delivery truck if you didn't know exactly what they were delivering. (sigh) (sigh) It may be worth something. I can't find them anywhere!



I think even without the car, Magnum P.I. still would have gotten the chicks.

Student Driver

Anyone hear about the 4-year old child in Michigan who snuck out of his mother's apartment with her car keys and went for a joyride? This JUST happened. This kid was weaving with no headlights on and after about an hour he finally attracted a policeman's attention. Great lil' police force they have there right? So the cop sees it and figures someone was gassing up their car and it took off on them somehow. He catches up to it and sees this kid having the time of his life. After running the plate and returning kid and car to his mom's house. Mom had no idea her kid was even gone. And the wild thing is...NO CHARGES WERE FILED against the mother! I hope she's counting her lucky stars or crickets or something. Something like that happened here in Texas...oh man. What most people don't know about Texans is that all of us already have court dates pre-scheduled...just in case we get out of line...you don't want none of us punk.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

With A Little Help from My Friends

Thanks to Mom (George) for getting me this mousepad!! What I did was take a picture of it and then whitened the faces and replaced them with my dad (Ringo) me (John) and my sis (Paul). Quite amazing what can be done with a few gadgets and a lot of free time!!

Saturday Night Live

This is on right now by the way. Why Paris Hilton is hosting is beyond me. Did this show get better? I guess...I remember when I was in high school I would try to watch it when I wasn't working. I thought when Fred Savage and Macualay Culkin hosted were some of the funniest SNL moments ever. Was I wrong? Nah! The worst SNL ever? Easily Nancy Kerrigan...or maybe Bob Newhart. Which is a shame because Newhart has what so many envy. Know what it is? Likability. How can you be mad at him? About anything? If he came over to my house and broke all my windows all I could do would be to say "Hey Bob...anything I can do for you?" (sigh) I'm not really a pushover. But for Bob...he is the MAN.

Great American Pasttime.

I bought 20,000 of these in my lifetime...know when I stopped? You guesed it...Auugust 12, 1994. The day the music died. And by music I mean the crack of the bat...the guy behind you who, unbeknownst to the rest of us, is a baseball genius who knows exactly what to do to win every game...and the other sounds that turned us into kids again. The sport has been through a lot in the last 11 years and ya know what? Nothing can bring it down.

Na na na na na na na na Batman

Batman: "Robin..."
Robin: "(sigh) Yes?"
Batman: "Robin...does this color make me look fat?"
Robin: "Geez...let it go already."

Star Wars

Did you know that back in 1999 when Star Wars "Phantom Menace" came out I went out and bought every single kind of toy/collector's item/gadget related to the movie? It's true! I got 'em out in my garage...on pegboards...unopened...mint condition...now as to the worth of them I have no idea since they aren't considered "rare" yet...emphasis being on "yet"...but hopefully they will someday.



I have never seen one of these on eBay! Or in the store! I stumbled across this on Starwars.com back in 1999 when the "Phantom Menace" movie came out. Paid $60 for it. Wonder what it's worth now. Hmm...



Anakin: "Well...here we are...together again..."

Obi-Wan: "Yes...yes...this is nice..."

Yoda: "A friggin' GameBoy anyone bring? Hmm?"



How is it this kid aged 15 years between movies? he must have used...The Force...



The truth is...R2D2 is single-handedly responsible for the defeat of the Empire and subsequent success of the Jedi Rebellion. Who was out there fixing X-wing fighters? Spying on Jabba and Darth and Bobo Fett? Plus...that huge net that everyone got stuck in in "Return Of The Jedi" thanks to Chewbacca? Who used their li'l saw and got 'em out of THAT? Everyone salute R2!! Now!!



Hey look! It's Walter Mathau all packaged up!!



You know...wherever this guy came from...everyone looks like that. Do the horns get bigger as they age? Smaller? Was he an ink addict? Sure could swing a mean lightsaber though.



(customer walks into "Darth Vader's Death Star 'O' Chicken")

Darth: "What is thy bidding my master?"

Customer: "Um...what do you recommend?"

Darth: "I hear the dark side of the chicken is superb."

Customer: "Um...that's okay...I'll have the "Emperor's Special!"

Darth: "Coming up" (into microphone) "ONE EMPEROR'S SPECIAL"

(teenage employee comes to the front)

Employee: "Um...sir...we're out of Emperor's Specials"

(employee begins choking to death under 'The Force')

Darth: "You have failed me for the last time."



How'd ya like to have THIS hiding behind your bushes at night! Then...when someone tries to break in...they roll out...put up their shield...and just start firing at them! Aiming away from the house of course. Property taxes are nothing to be taken lightly.

Here he comes...here comes Speed Racer...

...he's a demon on wheels! I remember when TV Guide came out with their list of the 50 Greatest Television Moments...and the final episode of Speed Racer was one of them! Could not believe it. Anyone remember what it was about? No? Well let me refresh your memory. For years Speed Racer had dueled with his arch-nemesis RacerX. RacerX was always dressed in black and you never got to see his face. But then...finally...in the last episode...he took off his helmet...and it was Speed Racer's brother!



Neo: "Morpheus..."

Morpheus: "Yes...what is it Neo?"

Neo: "How come women turn me down in the Matrix?"

Morpheus: "(sigh) It's not like the HoloDeck from Star Trek Neo...girls in the Matrix have minds...and opinions...plus..."

Neo: "Plus? Plus what?"

Morpheus: "It's...the coat Neo...really creeps the rest of us out."



Wolverine: "Who has my nailclippers?"

Cyclops: "I think I saw the weedwhacker in the garage...ha ha"

Wolverine: "Grrr..."

Wolverine quickly rips Cyclops to shreds)

Wolverine: "Who's laughin' now pretty boy."



More like Anna Voluptious if you ask me! No wonder Hugh Jackman jumped the gun to be in this flick!



Picard: "Who stole my Viagra?"
Riker: "Not me."
Worf: "Not me."
Barclay: "Not me"
LaForge: "Not me."
Data: "I was curious."